Well, what do you expect? Another Lame, isn't it? I'm sick and tired of this shit. But what can I do? I had a dream. I mean I still do. It's just this life sucks and I know I can breath better without my dream. But then again, I can't live without my dream. Shit, another lame. I need to get the fuck outa here. I've got to start a new life. Well, shit. I don't care. I don't give a shit no more. I'm still waiting. Waiting for some kind of miracle to happen. I don't care if that miracle is my death. As long as I can get away from this fucked up life. It's getting late. I shouldn't be here. What am I doing? I'm not even sure that I would remember writing this shit in such a place. Well, who gives a damn. I just remembered my life in L.A. Not like I remembered certain view or episode, but like a image or something. The atmosphere. The way I felt in L.A. Miracle, huh? Do I still have a faith? I do and I don't. I do believe certain aspects, like the fact that so many people believes in fate, and feel the almighty god in their religion. Me personaly, I don't give a damn about any kinds of phony religion, but I do, most certainly believe in god. I do believe in human virtue, and I know the first intention of those mesiah and budda was to create a heaven in this real world. They said it's gonna be after death, but it wasn't really the imaginary world that only dead person can go. Heaven is nothing like that. It was supposed to be here by now. I mean in this real world. 2000 years, they said. And this is it. So, what's the judgement. You've already got the answer, don't you? Can't you feel this real agony? We didn't make it. In fact, it only lasted a few hundred years. Now we've lost again. Somebody made a song and she said "what if god was one of us?" Well, the god IS all of us. We are supposed to make this world a better place for our children or for all of those people long after our death. Look at this. Just look at this world? How many people knows what human happiness is, and try to do something about it? Selfish basterds who only tries so hard to spoil the other, take advantage from the honest innocent people. I've had enough. I hate this capitalist shit. I know we can't live without the technology, but I really need right now is not the vending machine, nor the internet. I need to feel the real people, man. I need love. I need peace. Damn, who cares. I mean, I'm too insignificant to change the world. I know almost exactly what Jesus and Budda thought when they were alive. I can easily reconstruct their teaching from this messed up schools. They really thought about all the human race and believed we can reach ourselves into the higher standards. Well, too bad isn't it? I bet they didn't think the thing would turn out like this. Or, maybe they knew. 2000 years of lame. Do you think another 2000 years would worth it? I'm sick and tired. Heaven is just the bull shit. We can never get to that perfect place becasue we are not perfect. We are only human. We can't even feel the pain of the next person. Take advantage from other individual. Cheat on them. Tell a lie and trick each other. Why are we still killing each other. Why are we still hating each other. Just see it. and feel it. Think about our future. I hate this. I hate living in this world. This ain't worth it. We can never live in a heaven. People are still seeking their salvation among the empty statue. I need to rest. I'm observing. More I learned, more I feel sorry for our kind. We are just hopeless. Another 2000 years of lame.